


Don't Be Afraid; I Feel it, Too

by FlavorofKylo



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: 1980s, Age Difference, Alternate Universe - High School, Complete, F/M, First Kiss, Fluff and Humor, If you came here looking for smut you're in the wrong place, Masturbation, Praise Kink, Rey is Hot for Teacher, Rey's becoming a woman, Sexual Tension, Short & Sweet, Soft Ben Solo, Teacher-Student Relationship, Underage Kissing, Wouldn't you be if it was Ben? haha, Young Rey
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-16
Updated: 2020-08-16
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:48:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25933135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FlavorofKylo/pseuds/FlavorofKylo
Summary: It's 1983.  Rey is a high school junior getting ready to celebrate her 16th birthday.  She doesn't have a boyfriend yet, but she does have a big crush on her Social Studies teacher, Mr. Solo--and he knows it.Shout outs to my two Alpha readers, Lady of Reylo and Alison H, for being so amazing!!
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo
Comments: 30
Kudos: 138





	1. Awakening

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was written for the 80's song Fic Challenge. The song I chose is "Borderline" by Madonna.
> 
> This is the story of a sexual awakening.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey loves Madonna's new song "Borderline," and it always makes her think of her favorite teacher, Mr. Solo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please be aware that there is no smut to speak of in this fic. Rey is almost 16 and discovering her sexuality, but she and her hot teacher are not going to get it on. Sorry. He's a decent guy in this story.

**[](https://images.app.goo.gl/C4VAYJQFVaBarkN97)Sunday.**

As soon as she heard the opening strains of “Borderline,” Rey leapt from the couch and started dancing around the room. It was her new favorite song and she loved the video, too. Madonna was so cool, so pretty, and she had so much _style_. Quite simply, Rey wanted to _be_ Madonna.

She sang along with the video:

 _“Something in the way you love me won’t let me be_  
_I don’t want to be your prisoner so baby, won’t you set me free_  
_Stop playing with my heart, finish what you start_  
_When you make my love come down…_ ”

She bopped her almost sixteen-year-old self over to the full-length mirror in the living room and took a good, long look. Her breasts were small, but she thought her body was okay. Maybe she was kind of pretty; Finn was always telling her she was. She hoped Maz would let her start wearing makeup to school. Maybe _he_ would like it.

_Just try to understand, I’m giving all I can_  
_Cause you got the best of me…._  
_Borderline, feels like I’m going to lose my mind_  
_You just keep on pushing my love over the Borderline…_

In Rey’s mind, she was singing the song to Mr. Solo. He taught social studies, never one of her favorite subjects, but she loved his class. He was her favorite teacher. Most of her friends thought he was kind of scary, but Rey didn’t; he was always super nice to her. She wondered if he was married. He didn't wear a wedding ring, but Maz said that didn’t matter, that some married men just didn’t wear them. Rey thought that was kind of strange. Wouldn’t you want other people to _know_ you were married?

Some of the boys at her school paid attention to her, but she didn’t really like any of them that way. She had known Finn since junior high, and he was more like a best friend than anything else. Poe was kind of cute, although Rose said he was in the closet and didn’t even know it. Rey wasn’t exactly sure what that meant, but she knew she wouldn’t like to be stuck in a closet, not of any kind. No, the only boy she really liked at school was Mr. Solo. Well, he wasn’t a boy, he was a _man_. Maybe that was why she liked him so much. She wondered how old he was—thirty, maybe? Or even older? He was really tall and he had thick, black hair that looked like it would be really nice to touch. His eyes were dark and expressive, and his lips were full and pillowy-looking. Rey had often wondered what kissing him would be like.

Sometimes, when he got annoyed in class, he could be intimidating—Rose called him _intense—_ and that voice of his, so deep and commanding. But when he smiled, it made her insides turn to mush. She thought about him sometimes, at night, in her bed. She imagined his hands sliding over her body, those big, strong hands, caressing her boobs and sliding down between her legs. The thought made her all squirmy.

The first time she thought about kissing him was during class. When she went to the bathroom afterwards, she discovered some wetness in her panties, but not like pee. It was weird; was that normal? She thought it probably had something to do with becoming a woman. When she was in her bed that night, she touched herself for the first time, thinking about Mr. Solo.

It started to happen more and more after that when she was around him. It was like her body was crying out for something, crying out for _him._

**Tuesday.**

“So, did anyone ask you yet? Do you even really care? Because personally, I don’t. I’ll go with just you guys and we’ll have a great time,” Rose said defiantly. “You could always go with Finn, and that way, we could all still hang out, before. I don’t think Poe is taking anybody either.”

They were in the hallway after lunch, on their way to their next class: Mr. Solo’s class. Rose was saying she didn’t need or care if she had a date for the junior prom; she just wanted to go and have fun. Rey shrugged.

“I don’t really care, I guess,” she said. Just then, Rey felt a presence at her side—a tall body, with a dynamic energy, looming over her. They were all walking in the same direction, towards the classroom. She looked up and Ben Solo smiled down at her warmly. Rey felt her insides get tingly, but she managed to smile back. Rose looked up abruptly, on guard.

“Hi ladies,” his deep voice boomed out.

“Hi, Mr. Solo,” Rose mumbled. But Rey just kept walking, looking up at him with something in her eyes. He noticed. If he had to describe it, he would call it, what? Admiration? _Desire?_ But no, he didn’t want to think about that—too dangerous.

“Hi,” she breathed, eyes locked on his. He noticed the black of her pupils swallowing up her lovely green eyes.

Ben felt his mouth get dry. Did this sweet little angel have a _crush_ on him? He swallowed hard.

“How’re you doing, Rey?” he asked, eyes pinned to her. He licked his lips unconsciously.

She nodded. “I-I’m good, thank you,” she said softly. His eyes grazed quickly over her lips, her neck, her little rosebud breasts, pushing against her t-shirt.

“Good,” he nodded. “Well, I’ll see you in class.” He smiled awkwardly, forcing himself to move out of range of the delicious aura of longing she was sending out.

“Damn Rey,” Rose huffed, and Rey’s eyes snapped back to her. “ _Drool much?”_

“What?” Rey blurted, suddenly embarrassed. Oh no, she hoped she hadn’t been too silly, too _needy._ She was such a nerd. She just wanted him to like her, that’s all.

As they entered the room, Rose turned to smile at her friend. “I know you like him,” she said quietly. “It’s okay, Rey. Just be careful. You don’t want to get him into trouble,” she whispered.

Rose sat in her seat and Rey sat beside her, suddenly very self-conscious. Mr. Solo was writing on the blackboard. Rey started to protest to Rose but quickly realized it would be better not to talk about it while they were in the room.

____________________________________________________

During class, Mr. Solo had given out an assignment sheet for the final research paper. He asked them to make some notes on it and think about their topic. They were supposed to write down a brief proposal and then he was going to collect them. Rey sat, biting her lip and thinking, as he circled the room. She tilted her head down, trying to focus on her work. She suddenly wondered if he knew, the way Rose had figured it out. Had she given herself away, somehow? She kept worrying her lower lip in her teeth, hoping he didn’t figure it out, didn’t know, ugh-- that would be _soo_ embarrassing. What would he think? She didn’t want to weird him out, or anything. Was it gross? Would he be upset, if he knew she—

“Rey.” Her concentration shattered as she realized he was standing right beside her, _right there._ She raised her eyes to him….and when their gazes caught, she felt heat flood her body.

“Y-yes?” she murmured.

“How are you doing? Do you have any questions?” He was staring down at her in a way that she felt all the way inside her, down to her bones.

“Mm, I’m okay,” she managed.

“That’s fine, good,” he said. “Just let me know if you need my help at all, okay? That’s what I’m here for.”

Rey nodded solemnly. Ben smiled and moved on to the next desk. She found herself thinking about his lips again, how it would feel to kiss him. She’d never kissed a boy, except in spin-the-bottle last year, and that was just invasive, so it didn't count. She didn’t even know him, and there he was, trying to jam his tongue in her mouth, _eww_. But, she thought, maybe having Mr. Solo put his tongue in her mouth wouldn’t be so bad. She felt a little shiver run through her, admitting it to herself. Yeah. She thought she might like it.

Rey dreamt about him that night. He was sitting in a big chair, like the lazy-boy they had in their living room, and he was smiling at her. His big body commanded the space around him, long legs spread wide, big hands planted on his knees.

“Rey. Come here, sweetheart,” he said.

She moved slowly, drawn to him like a magnet, until she stood right in front of him, between his legs. Ben cupped her face gently, one finger stroking her cheek. He didn’t look _at_ her, he looked _into_ her, in a way that made heat pool in her belly.

“Are you a _good girl_ , Rey?” His voice curled around her like smoke.

“Yes,” she murmured.

He smiled again. “I know you are.” His thumb brushed her lower lip, and she opened her mouth, tasting the tip of it with her tongue. “So sweet," he praised. “So pretty.” She drew his thumb deeper into her mouth, sucking gently and drawing a faint little moan from him. Something flashed in her mind that this was wrong, she shouldn’t be doing this, but it felt so _right._

Ben slipped his thumb from her mouth and patted his thigh. “Do you want to sit on my lap?”

She did. She climbed up, settling between his legs. She felt something hard nudge against her tush, and she knew what it was, even though she’d never felt one before. She knew it meant he liked her, _that way._

Rey felt so safe and warm in his lap. She wanted to kiss him. She turned, eyes half-lidded and he met her halfway. His lips felt as soft as they looked.

She whimpered in her sleep and woke suddenly, throbbing between her legs. She put her hand there, inside her panties; she was all slippery. She found the magical little button that Rose had talked about—her clit—and started to play with it. A sensation hit her, something like climbing a staircase, but so much better, and she kept going, faster, climbing higher and higher until finally she came with a little cry that might have been his name, pleasure washing over her in waves. She laid there afterwards, completely relaxed, blissful.

She closed her eyes. _Oh, Mr. Solo._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Borderline,” Reggie Lucas. Madonna, 1983
> 
> If you enjoyed this story, there is a sequel about Rey and Ben meeting again while she is in college: "The Tiger and the Lamb." Thanks for reading!


	2. You've Got the Best of Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "If you want me let me know  
> Baby let it show  
> Honey don't you fool around..
> 
> Just try to understand  
> I'm giving all I can  
> Cause you've got the best of me...
> 
> Borderline, feels like I'm going to lose my mind..  
> You just keep on pushing my love over the borderline..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I am dating myself but I was a lot like Rey in the 80's. I did have a crush on a teacher in high school but he looked nothing like Ben. Lol 
> 
> Postermat was an amazing store on Eighth Street in Greenwich Village and my friends and I loved to go there. It doesn't exist anymore, sadly. 
> 
> Any other oldies who remember the rubber bracelets? 😁

**Saturday.**

Rey, Finn and Rose were on their way to Greenwich Village to hit their favorite store, Postermat, on Eighth Street and then go get pizza. Maz had given her some extra money because it was her birthday week and told her she could buy whatever she wanted. Rey knew they had the rubber bracelets and the cross earrings and she could pick up the rest of the stuff for her birthday outfit at the Canal Street Clothing Company.

The three of them got out of the subway and turned down Eighth Street. Finn was in the middle, flanked by the two girls.

“Is Poe meeting us there, or what?” Rose asked, annoyed.

“He said he is, but you know Poe,” Finn warned. “But hey, I’m here, right?” He grinned at her. “So, who needs Poe?”

Rey glanced over at them curiously; was there something going on between them that she didn’t know about?

“He’s supposed to help style my outfit,” Rey griped.

“Oh, I can do it,” Rose huffed. “So, Rey… who’s coming to your party?”

Rey shrugged. “It’s going to be small. Not too many people. Just us, Poe, Kaydel, Jannah and some people Maz is inviting. She frowned a little. It didn’t sound like much.

Rose piped up, “Hey.. I have an idea. Why don’t you invite _you-know-who?_ ” Rey shot her a furious glance and Rose giggled.

That was not supposed to be public knowledge. “Very funny, Rose. _Not.”_

Finn held up his hands. “Oh whoa, whoa…there's a _you-know-who?_ ” He looked back and forth between the two of them. “There are no _secrets_ , girls. You holding out on me?”

Rey pouted at her friend. “Rose,” she said. _Don’t you dare._

Rose bit her lip and shrugged. “Sorry, Finn; can’t say. I’m sworn to secrecy.”

Finn shook his head. “Aww, man. That’s messed up.”

____________________________________________________

At Postermat, Rey and Rose both bought a stack of rubber bracelets, some music postcards and their favorite, Stagelight Blue Rose lipgloss. Finn got a signed Jimi Hendrix poster from Woodstock since Jimi was his hero. While they were browsing, “Lucky Star” came on, and Rey and Rose immediately burst into song. 

“This is my favorite song on the album,” Rose said.

“No way,” Rey said. “’Borderline.’”

“Yeah, true,” Rose agreed. “Okay, it’s a close second.”

“'Borderline' makes me think of—” she cut herself off, suddenly realizing Finn was listening. He stood waiting for her to finish. “I… guess Poe’s not going to make it,” she said.

“Pretty slick, Rey,” Finn said. “Come on, just tell me who it is? You know I’m not gonna say anything.”

She shook her head.

“You know I’ll get it out of you, one way or another,” he said. “If I guess, will you tell me if I’m right?”

Rey glanced at Rose. “Maybe,” she said.

“Is it Justin?” Rey shook her head. “Tony? Josh.” Rey kept shaking her head. “Aaron?”  
She made a face at the last one.

"Aaron," Rose snorted. "Yeah, right. Finn, you’re not going to guess. Just forget it.”

“Well, he is at Coruscant High, right?”

“Um, _technically_ , yeah,” Rose snorted. She noted how uncomfortable Rey looked. "Forget it,” she said. “He’s not in our class. He’s _older.”_

Rey threw Rose a feral look.

Finn’s eyebrows shot up. “Oh, you mean, a senior?”

Rey bit her lip. She really didn’t want him to know.

“Leave her alone, Finn. “Let’s go get pizza. I’m starved.”

____________________________________________________

**Sunday.**

Sunday morning, Maz asked Rey to go pick up some things for her from the market on Steinway. It wasn’t that chilly, so Rey put on her favorite hoodie and down vest, jeans and her adidas. She plugged in her Sony Walkman and headed out.

Ben Solo was doing his regular Sunday morning shopping trip at Galaxy market when he spotted a familiar figure in the aisle in front of him. He recognized the light green vest and the black hoodie, the slender shoulders. And her three little buns, he would know them anywhere. He felt a sudden rush of conflicting emotions: desire and guilt, butting up against each other in his brain, his heart.

Rey was inspecting a package of frozen vegetables when she felt a presence behind her. It was a familiar energy.

“Rey…?”

She turned to meet his eyes. _Oh no,_ she thought. _I look awful._

“Uh, hi,” she murmured, with a slight frown. It was confusing to her that he would be here. What was he _doing_ here?

He smiled. “I live in the neighborhood. This is where I always shop. Funny that we never ran into each other before now, hmm?”

Yes. Yes, it was. Rey nodded quickly and swallowed. She was suddenly hyperaware of her clothes, her hair. She felt so self-conscious. But when she looked back up to meet his eyes, she didn’t see her own insecurities reflected back at her. No, he was smiling, with a strange look in his eyes. She realized he was looking at her lips. Huh. Maybe he _did_ _know_ that she liked him, and maybe he wasn’t _revolted_ by the idea.

He glanced into her cart and saw the box of cake mix and candles. “Ah. Looks like someone has a birthday coming up,” he said, eyes twinkling.

Rey licked her lips. “I do. I’ll be sixteen next week.”

He sighed, kind of shuddery. “That’s wonderful. Happy birthday a little early, Rey.”

She nodded, feeling a sudden burst of confidence. Maybe she should invite him...?

“I….” she bit it off. “Yes. Thank you,” was all she said.

“Well, I shouldn’t keep you,” he said, gesturing for her to go before him.

She nodded again. He was _so cute._

“Okay. Bye, Mr. Solo. Have a nice weekend,” she added, her voice pitched high, girlish.

“You can call me Ben,” he said. “When we’re not in class.”

Rey’s eyes got big. She nodded. “Kay. Bye, Ben.”

“Good-bye, Rey.”

____________________________________________________

Rey was in the kitchen unpacking the bags when Maz came in.

“I saw my teacher in the store,” she said. “Mr. Solo. It was weird.”

Maz smiled. “You like him, don’t you?’

Rey shrugged. “I guess," she muttered, flushing.

“It’s okay to like him,” Maz said. “There’s nothing wrong with that. I had a crush on one of my teachers in school, too.”

“You did?”

“Yes. My math teacher. I hated math, but, oh, he was so handsome.”

Maz chuckled, and Rey caught a flash of something in her face. She never really thought about it before, but Maz had been sixteen too, once.

“Yep. That was a long, long time ago,” she laughed lightly. “But I remember like it was yesterday.”

____________________________________________________

**Saturday.**

The party turned out better than she expected.

Rose came over early and helped put together her outfit. It turned out great, just like Madonna in the “Borderline” video. Rose helped do her makeup too, and Maz said it was fine. She could wear whatever she wanted on her birthday.

Finn, Rose, Jannah, Kaydel and Poe all showed up. Finn brought a mix tape for her and they all danced to Madonna, A Flock of Seagulls and Run DMC. Maz was talking with her friend Amilyn Holdo and Kaydel's mom; Lando and Chewy, some neighbors from the building, came too. The adults hung out in the dining room, drinking wine and talking.

It was almost time for cake when Rey heard someone at the front door. She didn’t pay much attention until she heard his voice echo in the room. Her mouth fell open and she turned from her friends. Mr. Solo was standing by the door, a small box in his hands. He had on a grey blazer with patched elbows and blue jeans.

“What’s _he_ doing here?” Poe frowned.

Rey stared--she had _no_ idea.

“I don’t know,” she said.

“Rey, come say hi,” Maz called from the hall.

She walked over on shaky legs. He smiled as she approached and held up the box. It was wrapped in silver paper with a small red bow.

“Happy birthday, Rey,” he purred, handing it to her.

Her tongue felt heavy and thick in her mouth. She gathered herself and took it.

“Thanks.”

He chuckled. “Maz invited me; I hope you don't mind. We’re both on the school board.”

“Oh,” she squeaked. “I forgot.”

After her friends got over their initial shock, the party went on. Ben hung out with the other adults; Rey went back to dancing and laughing with her friends, but she was distinctly aware of his presence, keeping one eye on him.

It was almost eleven-thirty when the party started to break up. Kaydel had left with her mom and Jannah; everybody else left to get on the subway home. The only guests left were Amilyn and Ben. When Maz and her friend were in the kitchen, Ben wandered over to the couch and beckoned to her. His eyes were glassy; Rey wondered if he might be a little drunk.

“Come sit with me, Rey,” he called, patting the sofa.

She sat beside him. He was inches away from her; her face felt hot.

“You didn’t open your present yet,” he noted, gesturing toward the box on the coffee table. She reached for it and held it on her lap, hesitant.

Ben was watching her with a muted hunger in his eyes. “Go ahead,” he whispered.

"You didn't have to get me anything," she said.

He nodded. "It's okay. I wanted to."

Rey unwrapped it and found a small, black jewelry case. Inside was a delicate, sterling silver chain with a single charm: the letter _R_ , in cursive. She couldn’t speak for a moment.

“Do you like it?”

She nodded. “It’s beautiful.”

He gestured her towards him. “Here, let me.” He took the chain from her and opened the clasp. “Turn around,” he said.

She turned her head away, exposing her neck to him and he put It on for her. His fingers brushed the nape of her neck in the process, sending a small firestorm of excitement through Rey.

“There you go,” he said softly.

Rey was overwhelmed.

“Thank you,” she said, looking down at it with quiet awe before meeting his eyes again. 

“You’re very welcome.” He smiled.

She looked at his hand, the left one--the one without a wedding ring. "How come you're not married?" she asked.

Ben's eyebrows lifted a bit. "I don't know. I guess I never found the right woman." She felt lost in his eyes, as he searched hers. 

She bit her lip, staring at him. He knew; _of course,_ _he knew_. She leaned in close and softly kissed the corner of his mouth. Ben sighed and closed his eyes.

“Rey,” he breathed, his voice dark and husky. 

She moved in again, this time letting her lips touch his full on, pressing. They were as soft as they looked. She opened her mouth slightly and her tongue slipped out, brushing his lips, inviting him in. She heard a small sound, a groan, from deep inside him, as he surrendered. Rey felt a frisson of desire curl its tendrils slowly down her spine and spread throughout her whole body, her whole self. She was kissing him, and he was kissing her _back._

Ben put a hand gently on hers as he broke the kiss. “Rey,” he said quietly. “I can’t. I wish I could.." he shook his head slowly. 

She smiled at him, nodded. She knew.

“Thank you,” she said. “For the best birthday present ever.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed my fic. I love comments, if you are so inclined! Thanks for reading.
> 
> Visit me on twitter @FlavorofKylo


End file.
